Thursday, May 8, 2008

The Physical and the Mental

The physical has to do with David. He is still continuing to cough. We called his oncologist again today, because David finished his cough syrup from last week, but it hasn't helped him much. The doctor prescribed some morphine this afternoon which we had to drive down to the hospital for, show ID and pick up in person since it is a "controlled substance". I thought morphine was used for pain not for coughs, but I remember my dad's doctors gave it to him too. So far he has taken 2 doses tonight, but he is still coughing. It kind of sounds like the book called The Hungry Caterpillar where it says, he ate 4 apples, 3 cupcakes, two pieces of pie and one piece of pizza, but he was still hungry. I really hope he gets some relief soon.
The mental part has been the hardest for me during the last few days because the coughing really reminds me of my dad, and those hurts are still so fresh. It was so hard to watch my dad suffer with the coughing, and now it is affecting David too. If he just had an ordinary cold, I probably wouldn't think anything of it, but when someone has cancer, you immediately think the worst. David did have a clear x -ray and his oxygen was 97, so that is really good, but it is so puzzling to know what is going on inside him and what is causing this. X-ray vision would really come in handy now. I am still trusting God, but it is a moment by moment battle of my thoughts telling myself what is true and not worrying about an unknown future that I can't control. So, I am trying to just enjoy being with my hubby tonight, and every time he coughs it is just a reminder for me to think about how much I love him and pray.


Kelli I. said...

Since God did not give us X-Ray vision, He gave us the ability and gift of FAITH. Believing in Him and His plan even when life seems so uncertain. You have been an amazing example of living a life of faith in the midst of trial. Thank you, friend, for sharing your words of triumph and your words of struggle. Through your writing, I am being challenged to live a more faithful life.

Carl, Melitsa & Aiden said...

Just wanted to let you know that I often check your blog and have been praying for you guys! I will be praying for David's cough to subside as well as stamina for both of you, physically, mentally and spiritually.
Your humble faith and quiet trust in the Lord is a blessing to me!
It is so honoring to the Lord that you are trusting Him through all of this!

catlover160 said...

Lauren - just wanted to say hi and that you guys remain in my prayers daily. I don't know if this will be any reassurance or not, but I had a chronic cough prior to being diagnosed with Hodgkin's. It continued through chemo, chemo can do crazy things to your body! I think you said he's on ABVD...the bleomycin can cause lung damage/irritation, but as long as they said his x-ray is good I wouldn't be as concerned about the damage, but it can cause some irritation as well...before my diagnosis my family doc put me on Tessalon Perles - it was the ONLY thing that helped. Just a thought...your family will stay in my prayers!

Mersch Family said...

To hear with my heart
To see with my soul
To be guided by a hand I cannot hold
To trust in a way that I cannot see
That's what faith must be
--Michael Card

Seeing your consistent faith in the Father makes me want to praise Him every time. The same grace that has sustained you to this point will continue to hold you and your family both today and tomorrow. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. "You can trust perfect love."--Charles Stanley