The physical has to do with David. He is still continuing to cough. We called his oncologist again today, because David finished his cough syrup from last week, but it hasn't helped him much. The doctor prescribed some morphine this afternoon which we had to drive down to the hospital for, show ID and pick up in person since it is a "controlled substance". I thought morphine was used for pain not for coughs, but I remember my dad's doctors gave it to him too. So far he has taken 2 doses tonight, but he is still coughing. It kind of sounds like the book called The Hungry Caterpillar where it says, he ate 4 apples, 3 cupcakes, two pieces of pie and one piece of pizza, but he was still hungry. I really hope he gets some relief soon.
The mental part has been the hardest for me during the last few days because the coughing really reminds me of my dad, and those hurts are still so fresh. It was so hard to watch my dad suffer with the coughing, and now it is affecting David too. If he just had an ordinary cold, I probably wouldn't think anything of it, but when someone has cancer, you immediately think the worst. David did have a clear x -ray and his oxygen was 97, so that is really good, but it is so puzzling to know what is going on inside him and what is causing this. X-ray vision would really come in handy now. I am still trusting God, but it is a moment by moment battle of my thoughts telling myself what is true and not worrying about an unknown future that I can't control. So, I am trying to just enjoy being with my hubby tonight, and every time he coughs it is just a reminder for me to think about how much I love him and pray.
5 weeks ago